Man Up and Talk – Masculinity and Mental Health

Man up. It’s a common expression – you’ve probably said it yourself a few times. A quick Google of its definition states it means to be “brave or tough enough to deal with an unpleasant situation”. It’s only one phrase, but it illustrates a very real problem affecting our society. The leading cause of death for men under 50 is suicide…that’s a very real and worrying fact, and the notion that men should sweep their feelings under the carpet to maintain their masculinity is arguably a major contributing factor to this chilling statistic. 

How it Hurts

Ideas of masculinity have changed over time, but at its core it still retains certain characteristics that are seen as desirable. Men should be independent, strong, aggressive, competitive, tough, confident, and non-emotional. These aforementioned traits are lifted straight from the infamous Mike Cernovich’s website – his book ‘Gorilla Mindset’ alleges to teach men how to control their ‘thoughts and emotions’. Cernovich’s opinions may be on the more extreme side, but they're unfortunately an exaggerated reflection of masculinity often supported in our own society. 

What is Social Construction and Why Does it Matter?

Now we know what the common traits of masculinity are, it’s important we understand the sociology of gender. This sounds complicated, but it basically means that our ideas of how males (and females) should act are completely based on what our society has told us is normal. Men don’t automatically act ‘tough’, they’re taught to.

From a young age we’re socialized to act in gender-appropriate ways. This is done by encouraging us to play with the ‘correct’ toys and complimenting us for having the ‘right’ traits. This continues throughout our life – even through common sayings like ‘man up’. We’re expected to act in a certain way thanks to long-established cultural norms. Everyone believes these are inherent, when actually they're learnt. 

So what does this have to do with males and mental health? Well the traits associated with masculinity can be incredibly toxic when it comes to dealing with feelings of depression and other mental illnesses. Men are not unfeeling robots. They feel everything as acutely as women – they’re just taught not to express it. They’re told to be self-reliant and are expected to sort out their problems independently. This means they’re less likely to reach out for help. Combine this with some of the stigmas surrounding mental health (it being a sign of weakness for example) and you’re left with a dangerous mix that leaves men to suffer alone, in silence.

What Can be Done?

Social constructions don’t change overnight, but what you can do is help to challenge them. Don’t avoid talking about your feelings and struggles you’re facing, and encourage others to do the same. Stop putting yourself into a box. Sexism is wrong in all its forms, and only by talking about it can we change it.

The Lions Barber Collective has made a commitment to removing the stigma associated with mental illness and to encourage men to #manupandtalk. For more information about our projects visit our website and like us on Facebook. 

By Kimberley Parker